Are you guilty?

By Jena Griffiths | May 5, 2013

Some of us feel guilty even when we shouldn’t. Others don’t feel a pang of remorse even though they leave a path of devastation in their wake. Or is it us leaving the devastation? We just don’t realize it!? Yikes. Perfect fodder to mull over this month.
Our topic this month in Earth School is all about personal integrity, self esteem, guilt, risk, ethics and accountability. How all these dots connect. And how to make sense of the maze of dots instead of reading in patterns where there are none. Or not seeing impending disaster even though all the dots line up.

We’ll be talking to Richard Unger on Tuesday, May 7 2013. Exploring this topic from a LifePrints fingerprint perspective.
This is a paid call. Members log in here.
Join this series of calls here
I’ll also be interviewing other experts on related topics in the open auditorium in the coming weeks.sign up free for these calls

More about guilt etc.?
I once met a man who walked out on his family when his children were toddlers. He never once went back to see them or find out how they were doing.
40 years later, when we met, I asked him if he had done this because he thought it would be less painful for them in the long run.
His answer?
“I’ve never hurt anyone in my life!”
We forget that doing nothing/not connecting is also a way of hurting other people. And one that leaves broken hearts, or more, in its wake.

But how much of yourself and your time should you give?
When does sticking around become self betrayal?

I remember the first time I betrayed myself in a significant relationship.
We had just sailed in from across the Pacific, and were moored in a marina on the East coast of Australia. Land hungry and looking for adventure, the only thing sticking up on a very flat horizon was the Glass House Mountains, quite a distance away. They became an obsession. I urgently wanted to photograph them closeup so we hired a car for 2 days and a night to do just that. I had planned to get up half an hour before daybreak, to catch the morning light, the best time to take photos, but my partner wanted to stay in bed and have more or whatever it is we were already having. 😉
It would have been so easy to say “No, let’s go.” or “Wait here, I’ll be back in an hour.” But I didn’t. I stayed in bed, and missed the light and perfect shots as a result. And it was a downward slide from there on in our relationship. Totally my own fault, and without realizing it, I found myself giving up on my own wants, compromising more and more to keep the show on the road.
It’s hard to see choices when you’re right in the thick of things. Yet keep making decisions like this and you very quickly turn yourself into a doormat.

It’s situations like this that we’ll be exploring this Tuesday with Richard.
How is personal integrity, guilt and self esteem connected?
Why is this whole arena more difficult for some of us than it is for others?
How does this play out in different contexts?
And what to do in future.
Join us for this call here.
The live call is at 11 am Pacific, 8 pm Switzerland. Elsewhere.
The replay is on the same link.

What are your thoughts on this subject? Please share your views, lessons or stories below.

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Topics: self esteem | 2 Comments »

2 Responses to “Are you guilty?”

  1. Bonnie Stanford Says:
    May 7th, 2013 at 11:23 pm

    Hi Jena,
    Thank you for sharing your personal experience. I know how easy it is to feel like a victim when I myself have made past decisions to put myself in that place. It is difficult to go from doing what you are told, as a child, to empowering yourself as an adult to feel good about yourself. Thank you for all of your insightful articles!
    Love, Bonnie

  2. Jena Griffiths Says:
    May 8th, 2013 at 7:13 am

    Thanks Bonnie,
    You give me the courage to share stories like this so that others can benefit from my experience.
    Love and thanks,